Are you ready to find out how you can increase your self confidence? Are you ready to find out a secret that I have learnt about many people who are brimming with confidence?
I have met and encountered people who “appear” to be confident, but deep down they too have insecurities and feel vulnerable sometimes. So the first thing to note is that sometimes confidence is about “appearing” confident”.
Here´s another secret I will let you in on. No one is perfect. Perfection does not exist. You know all those perfect models in the magazines, well believe it or not it can all be achieved by photoshop – now imagine the pressure they are under! Everyone makes mistakes, after all we are human, so to err is human. Don´t beat yourself when things don´t go the way you want them to go. You see I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Therefore if you did not get what you wanted, if things did not work out, don´t label yourself as a failure right away. Take stock of what has or has not happened, and asked yourself what is the reason. There is no reason for you to feel less confident because something did not work out.
Can I ask you a question? Were confident people born confident? Is it something like having an arm, or a leg that you are born with confidence? So if people are not born with confidence how do they acquire it? Luck, from family members? Nope they have to work for it. They have to build up their confidence, do things that they think might not be possible, and ultimately believe in themselves. Sometimes by failing we actually become stronger. We realise our limits and then push further – well some of us do, others give up. You´re not a giver upper are you?
The one thing we want is recognition. We want to be recognised for what we have achieved. We need to be acknowledged, and also to be accepted for what we do. Some people can generate confidence internally, others (for example like me), become more confident from an external source. For example when I am training and get good feedback it boosts my confidence as a trainer and coach.
Getting back to my previous post, you may remember, that sometimes we lack confidence because of things that happened in our past, when we were growing up. If as a youngster you were humiliated or encouraged this will have an effect on your self confidence. Your role models were also important. If anyone in your family lacked self confidence perhaps you may have thought this was normal behaviour.
Your life to this point has been a journey. I often say that it´s not the destination that is important but the journey of how you got there. You see on your journey you will experience many things, and you should learn from each and every experience. One phrase I like to use is that there is no failure only feedback. This is mind shift in how you think. Don´t dwell on the negative of what has happened, instead look at what you have learned from what has happened. When you look at things using this frame of mind you will see the learning experience. If you don´t gain feedback from your experiences then you will continue to make mistakes. So remember – no more failure just feedback.
One little tip I will share with you, before we get into the meat of things, is this. If you learn from your mistakes you will see how you can improve your life, by doing this you will become more confident. Your past is your past, and does not define your future. What we have is the here and now. What we do now can help us build the future we desire. Let me tell you that you can make changes, you can become more confident, if you believe you can. At this point in your life you have done things you would never have thought possible. Think about it for a second. Now think what if you believed you could be more confident. Do y ou think you could improve your live? Do you think you could move to a better place mentally and physically?
Reflect on the past, learn from it and begin in the present and then move forward to build your confidence.
In the next post I will reveal some more insights and tips on building confidence. Remember that you can sign up to my mailing list below to be updated when I add more posts:
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To your greater success
Richard
Patrick Todd says
We definitely have similar interests…
Enjoy The Journey,
Patrick
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