A tough divorce can leave you feeling all sorts of negative emotions. You may have a lack of trust in humanity, and you might feel as though you’ve lost your own sense of confidence and self-esteem. Allow yourself the time to build up these qualities again by integrating some useful strategies.
You may also find yourself doubting every choice that you make. Even if you aren’t 100 percent sure that a certain decision will lead to your intended outcome, have confidence in it. As Coover Divorce Lawyers explain, “divorce can sometimes be a relatively simple process, especially if both sides agree to the terms of the divorce. However, when the divorcing spouses are unable to reach an agreement, things can quickly become messy and complicated.” Consider trying to keep things amicable if you have children, and if you and your spouse are able to talk reasonably without constant arguing, that’s even better. However, even if you’re trying to make things easier for your children, don’t let that result in you getting walked all over by your soon-to-be ex. You need to stand up for yourself in areas that you feel strongly about. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t consider compromises, just be sure to keep your goals in mind. Learning to take command can make you a more confident person overall.
Make Yourself a Priority
After all of the divorce logistics are finalized or in the process of being complete, it is time to focus on you and on what you want moving forward. Doing so can also help you to regain confidence in multiple areas of life. If you have always wanted to go back to school to pursue a new career or to apply for a promotion at your company, you should think about doing so now. You may not want to make seriously significant changes at this point because you are still a little raw from the divorce, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t start to make goals and plans for your life now that you’re on a new path. Mind Tools teaches, “When you set goals for yourself, it is important that they motivate you: this means making sure that they are important to you, and that there is value in achieving them.” You don’t have to be too ambitious, sometimes setting small goals on what you want to achieve on a day-by-day basis is a better place to start. Either way, trying and learning what you’re capable of is empowering.
Spend Time with Relatives and Friends
Learning to validate yourself is important. You don’t want to have to always turn to others to know that what you’re doing is right, and if you have some bad blood between you and your close friends or loved ones as a result of the divorce, it’s probably best to keep some distance to allow for emotions to cool down. However, having that occasional validation from your loved ones can give you a boost from time to time. While you might feel like isolating yourself until the divorce is just a distant memory, remember that you have family and friends that do want to support you. Letting them in a bit more can help you through this turbulent time. And if you’re worried they’ll bring up sensitive topics, let them know in advance that you could use some company, but that you’re not up for discussing the divorce at that time if they’re still interested in going out with you. Additionally, Divorced Moms wisely advises, “Never underestimate the power of the acquaintance during a tragedy. These people float into your life for a reason.” If new friends or more fully cultivated friendships are needed, don’t be afraid. This is a new stage in your life, so sometimes some newer people are just what you need.
Consider Dating When You’re Ready
You should not date before you’re ready to do so, regardless of what your relatives and friends say. However, staying open to the idea is important. Remember that you do not have to marry someone just because you go on one date with the person. Dating allows you to meet other individuals, and this experience can help you to build confidence. Tough divorces can leave you feeling like you’ve been sucker punched and that no one understands you. Considering dating opportunities with other divorcees can help you recognize that others can understand you. Either way, Today advises that you shouldn’t start dating if your still emotionally raw, but you should remain optimistic for your future in dating.
A divorce can leave you feeling quite upset in many ways. Still, you don’t need to let this scenario take over your life. Instead, you can find ways to feel like yourself again, or work toward creating a new version of you, one with a lot of learned experiences from your past. For more help on moving forward or creating a new chapter in your life, check out our other articles.