When your child acts out, it can make you feel powerless and confused. It’s important to remember that this is something that you have to deal with as your child finds their place in the world, but you don’t have to tolerate disrespect or inappropriate behavior in your home. Here are some ways to reach out to a disobedient child effectively.
Explain Rules
One of the biggest reasons children act out is that they feel the rules are unfair or they don’t understand them. Too many parents like to use the reason “because I’m the parent” to explain everything from why bedtime is a certain time to why their children have to let their parents know where they are going. While you don’t have to explain every reason, helping your children see that there is logic behind your rules can help mitigate some acting out.
Don’t Make Empty Threats
If your child is acting out, it can be tempting to threaten them with any number of punishments, regardless of whether you mean to follow through or not. This is not helpful, for improving your child’s behavior or your relationship with them. You also shouldn’t choose punishments out of frustration or anger. If you do, the punishment may fit the behavior, but your child is more likely to rebel because they feel they are being judged unfairly. There’s a reason that parenting is best done with two people. Consult with your spouse in order to keep your feelings from overruling you.
Consider Therapy
Therapy can do wonders for you and your family. Even if your child is opposed to it, it gives you a safe place to communicate your concerns in a healthy way. It’s hard to speak to a troubled child, but therapy forces them to hear what you have to say. If the situation becomes extreme, it may be helpful to have your child attend a treatment facility that can help them deal with any issues they are struggling with personally. This will also connect you with other parents and families that are going through similar things.
Stay Calm
Every parent knows that our children frustrate and trust us far more than anyone else in our lives ever will. Don’t let your children get the better of you. Remain a calm demeanor in front of them at all times. Not only are you providing a good example, but you are also keeping yourself from saying something that you don’t mean. You can always express your anger and frustration in other ways when they are not around.
You are not a bad parent. Your child is not a bad child. Growing pains can be truly painful sometimes. Follow these tips, and you will be able to manage your child’s bad behavior much better.
Resources:
Establish Clear Boundaries for Children