You the know the one thing that all of us have in common? It is that we have fears. No matter who you are you will always have a fear of something! Even the rich and famous have fears believe it or not!
Some of the fears that people have are death, not finding love, being along or social situations. This is just a few of the fears as there are just so many.
I truly believe that if you can think of something, there has to be someone who fears it. Firstly understand that fear is part of life and a certain amount of fear is normal! Fear keeps us safe and protects us. It stops us from walking down dark alleys at night because we fear we will come to some harm. However if fear has a tight hold on you then it starts to take over you life and can stop you from living and progressing in life. This is a point that you should not reach.
Types of fear
Some people feel fearful about going out with their colleagues or meeting people. This can be quite a natural fear.
Some people will feel fear because they have been conditioned to expect the worst. Think of all the negative information you subject yourself to when watching the news. So many bombs, killings, accidents and worse. No wonder people start to fear leaving their homes. The problem is that living a life like this is not healthy!
What if your fears are stopping you from experiencing new opportunities in your life? You need to regain control so that you progress and achieve more.
Now is the time for you to start living your life and not watch life pass you by.
Identify your fears
Below you will find my top steps to help you begin to conquer your fears:
* Identify your fears – This should be an easy thing to do or perhaps not! But let’s try it. Take out a notebook and write down 10 things you are afraid of. 10 things might sound a lot but try not to limit yourself, if you have find you have more fears that’s ok keep going. Don’t worry about things sounding irrational. This is your private moment to put it all down on paper. Remember that in order to conquer your fears you have to identify them first!
* Ask yourself why do you have this fear? Let’s say you have a fear of flying. Try to think back to why you have this fear. Was there something that happened to you on a flight or was it simply that someone told you that flying was dangerous? Try to remember a specific incident that might have caused the fear. Maybe your fear of flying intensified because you’ve been on a turbulent flight. Or maybe your fear of dogs stemmed from being bitten as a child.
* Recall those memories – sometimes you may find that you have blocked out the memories as to why you have a fear. If this happens don’t be afraid to ask for and seek professional help. A professional can help you unlock those memories and even help put some meaning onto them. You might find that Emotional Freedom Technique, commonly called EFT or hypnosis may help.
Ok so those three steps were the easy part, but since you’re still with me that’s great. Let’s move on.
Overcoming and conquering fear
Now you have to start to overcome and eventually conquer your fears. Let me tell you that this part takes time and also takes some work as well, depending on the fear, but as long as you are aware of this and prepared to put in the work you can do this! Remember that it too time to install the fear inside you so it may also take time to conquer it.
So take baby steps and don’t be afraid of this!
Have you ever seen the movie “What About Bob?” Well the therapist had a patient who was afraid of everything, and I mean everything. So what did the therapist do? What do you think 🙂 The baby step approach was used with the patient. Step by step the patient starting to gain more confidence and this eventually led them to increase their confidence and then eventually overcome the fear.
What baby steps you take depends on your fear of course! Let’s take a few examples
1. Social situations – Let’s say that you are fearful of social situations. Don’t throw yourself into a new situation, instead take is slowly. Go to an small event of something that interests you. Maybe an art showing, a coffee morning. You don’t need to go in and have to talk to people. Just go and be. Relax and allow yourself to feel safe in this environment. The idea here is to prove to yourself that there is nothing to fear. Once you get comfortable then you can be more adventurous and try to talk to people.
Another step to take would be start socialising with good friends. You can improve your social skills with people you already know. This will help feel more at home, so to speak.
2. Fear of dogs – What if you are afraid of dogs? Well try this approach. Visit a friend who has a dog (preferably a small tame dog first!) Remember if a dog barks it is probably just letting you know he’s here and this is his or her turf! A dogs bark is always worse than its bite! What if you don’t have friends who have dogs? No problem go to a local pet shelter and see if you can go down and visit a few of those dogs – remember there are always options.
3. Fear of flying – ok here we start to move into a different fear that can be a little more difficult to conquer as I can’t just say go and take a flight to somewhere as of course there is a cost involved. However, one intervention that can work really well is hypnosis. Hypnosis can help reprogram your mind so you are not as afraid. Here’s another option – see if you can go to a flight school or if there is somewhere you can try a flight simulator. This could be an option that will help recreate flying but in a very safe environment. Not flying can really hold you back on your journey to travel more.
What next?
To conclude. If you face your fears you open up new opportunities but take it bit by bit. Living in fear will mean that you won’t live as full a life as you should!