Manage yourself talk and improve your life
In this blog post I want to discuss self talk. You know the way you talk to yourself when you need to do something or make a decision? Everyone engages in self talk as it is a “built in” part of our life. Sometimes you might not even notice it, but on average we can start talking to ourselves from the moment we wake up until we go to sleep. We might not notice it as it is “normal” to us or we just don’t realize it.
The problem with self talk is that 80% of the time, if not more, it is negative self talk. Talk that brings us down, and does not help us in anyway. If you engage in self talk this can have amazing results on your life!
The type of self talk you engage in is a product of your upbringing, environment and experiences. If you currently engage in negative self talk it is not entirely you fault, however this blog post is going to help you break the negative self talk and change it into positive self talk.
The tips below are going to help you break negative self talk and feel better about yourself and your life
List out the negative things you say to yourself. Over the next 24 hours make a note of all the negative, non supportive phrases you say to yourself. Note everything down, it does not matter how absurd it is everything should be noted. Here’s just a few examples of negative self talk:
• “I could never to talk to a girl/guy like that.”
• “I could never achieve the success he/she has.”
• “There’s no way I could learn to do that.”
• “Life will never get better.”
Prioritize your negative self talk. Study the list you have created. Are there items on the list that have a more negative impact on you than others. The next part of this exercise might be a little difficult, however rewrite your list so that the most negative phrase or thought is at the top. Continue to list out all the phrase until you put the least negative at the bottom of the list.
• This is an important exercise to see what is affecting you the most. This allows you to deal with your negative talk more effectively.
Write out another list. You are now going to change your original list and improve on it! Look at the first 10 to 15 phrases on the list and not convert them into a positive thought. This can again be difficult but try it and see what happens. Right now you might find it difficult to believe the new positive phrase but just go with the exercise and trust me!
Looking at the examples of negative phrases above I could rewrite them as follows:
• “I could never to talk to a girl/guy like that.” ‘I’m going to talk to that girl/guy”
• “I could never achieve the success he/she has.” “I can model that person and get more success”
• “There’s no way I could learn to do that.” “I am going to study that topic”
• “Life will never get better.” “Life is going to get better in the next couple of months”
Change how you think. This is where things get interesting! I want you to change how you think. From this point forward I want you to notice when you are engaging in negative self talk. When you become aware immediately change the negative phrase into a positive statement. Yes this will take time but it has a dual effect. You notice your negative talk more and you turn it into a positive.
• This will take time to master, but it will soon become second nature to you
As you start to change your self talk move further down the list you wrote, you will soon fine that you are using less and less self talk. Remember the more confident you become the more confident you will become, it’s what I like to call a positive vicious circle!
You will always have self talk present, but the idea is to take control of it and make it positive. You need to control yourself talk as the more you hear something the more you believe it. Therefore if it is negative this can have a huge impact on your life. When it becomes positive you are on your way to a more fulfilling life.
Remember first become aware of your negative self talk then take the steps above to change it positive self talk. If you need anything please leave a comment below