Do you beat yourself up?
Do you ever do this? You know you feel bad because of something you did or did not do? You feel like heck I should have done this but I did that. I should be working on my second income, or helping others, or being a better person, but things just got in the way.
It´s happened right? But hey I am going to tell you what you can and should do, or should I say I am going to suggest a few things to help you.
Why do we do it?
Ok so you know what I am talking about right. That feeling you have of not doing what you should be doing, or not living how you should, you feel bad. The problem is that the more you think about it the more you feel bad right? Which in turns make you feel worst, which makes you …. you see how it is a vicious circle.
So why do we beat our selves up? I think it´s just the way we are programmed to be to be honest. It could be religious guilt, who knows? The important thing is not to find why you do it but to change your mindset and know what you can do when you find yourself thinking in a negative way.
How to stop beating yourself up
The first thing to do is to realise that you are doing it! Sometimes people just feel bad and don´t realise that they are beating themselves up. So realise when you are in that negative state. How do you know? You keep thinking about the decision that you made, you keep running the video or the sound track thru your head and examining it, time after time. Now you know you are beating yourself up over something!
Now that you have realised when you do it, ask yourself what purpose does beating yourself up serve. The answer, is normally, nothing. Well it can server a purpose if you make a change based on what you thinking. Most people don´t. They keep thinking about the issue, replaying the video and not making a change.
So here are a few tips I use:
1) Consider the decision you made – you made the decision based on the available information you had at the time. Now ask yourself the following:
- did you think everything thru?
- did you rush thru making the decision?
- what options were available to you?
- what did you learn from the decision you made? – very important
2) Consider the impact of your decision – so is the impact of your decision really that bad? Is it something that is going to negatively effect you, or just something that did not work out as best it could? Sometimes things look worse to us than they really are.
3) Start to make more decisions – the more decisions you make, the better you become at making them. It is like any muscle, the more you use your decision making skills the better you become at it. Soon you will begin to make much better decisions. The more decisions you make the better you will get at making them, which in turn means you will make more decisions…..
4) Create a decision strategy – when you are faced with a decision, what strategy do you use to make the “correct” decision? Once you have a strategy you will find that you will know you made the right decision based on your strategy.
Creating a decision strategy
Now we need to think about creating a decision strategy
Rather than talk and talk here´s my decision strategy, or how I make better decisions (I do believe we are always making changes and need to refocus our strategies)
1) Don´t rush – never rush into making a decision. When you rush you don´t consider every aspect, however there´s also point 2 to consider..
2) Don´t take too long – seems like a contradiction right? However you don´t want to take days and days to make normal decisions, as you might talk yourself out of the decision
3) Consider what is important – when you need to make a decision, consider the important aspects of this decision. How will it affect you, your families, your current objectives and goals?
4) Make the decision that is right in the moment – it is impossible to always make the right decision but make the decision that is right for the moment.
5) Make your decision and don´t regret it – when you make your decision that´s it. You followed your strategy and made the best decision, now live with it!
Hopefully this quick post has made you think about decisions and how to make better ones. Now it´s your turn to decide to leave a comment or not….
Patrick Todd says
Thanks for the GREAT advice, I believe that many of our decisions
are based on the WHY factor. Our motivation has a definite impact
on our decisions.
Thanks again,
Patrick
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